Breastfeeding Finale

I stopped breastfeeding Kaden shortly after I returned to work. It was somewhere in end May’08. Kaden was about 31/2mo then. I wasn’t the one who initiated to stop bf, it was Kaden who seemed to have lose interest in bf as he only got to latch on once a day in the evening when I returned home. I wasn’t quite bear to do so bcos I didn’t manage to bf Trenyce and hope to do as long as I could for Kaden. But even if I pumped out the bm, Kaden also refused to take. He was actually able to differentiate the difference in taste between the two types of milk – bm and fm. Sigh, looks like its destined.

To begin with, I wasn’t able to breastfeed Kaden exclusively as I didn’t have sufficient milk supply. For those who bf exclusively, they will say that it’s not possible. As much as I wanted to and have tried doing so, I wasn’t able to. I simply couldn’t match his demand. I remembered myself struggling to latch him for the first time after returning home from hospital. He refused to latch on and cried whenever he saw the nipples as if he knew that my milk supply had not ‘arrived’ and would only be satisfied when a bottle was sent to his mouth. I think it was my postnatal blues playing on me, I felt really dejected then and cried when Kaden rejected my breast during those early days. Everyone tried to console me. But I didn’t feel any better. I felt very lousy like I have failed my duty as a mother. I almost decided to give up but very unwilling to give in to Kaden’s rejection so continue to persist on my bf venture. I tried to wake up in the wee hours and feed him on every opportunity I have but most of the times I failed especially for the first few days. The confinement auntie also pitied me, she kept telling me that I shld rest more and let her do the job to feed Kaden with fm. I didn’t heed her advice and continued to wake up for Kaden’s every feed until Kaden had to be admitted to Mt Alvernia for phototherapy. It was also the same time when my milk flow started to come….

I was really upset. Upset that my little darling had to be sent to hospital for phototherapy… upset that why it had to be at the time when I could start “fulfilling” my mother’s duty to bf him. I continued to wake up at wee hours, actually every 3 to 4hours, when Kaden was at the hospital to pump bm so as to ‘maintain’ the flow…hoping that by the time he returns home I will have plenty for him. I also went to hospital everyday to bring him the bm and to latch him, if possible. Thank god, I managed to do so every time I visited him.

By the time Kaden returned from his phototherapy, he was already drinking 90ml. At that time, he was only about a week old. My supply then was only between 30ml to 50ml per pump so I had to combine two pumps for his every feed. The most I ever got for each pump was about 80ml. Hence, I only managed to provide 2 feeds for him everyday. When the confinement auntie left, I was still able to give 2 feeds everyday until my inlaws had to go for their Aussie trip. I didn’t have time to pump as often as taking care of the two kids on my own has taken up most of my time hence as a result, I only managed to give 1 feed everyday…..then slowly reduced to 1 feed every alternate day until my inlaws returned. It was this bad although I did latch him whenever I was free but still the flow wasn’t coming very strong. When the bm feed came only once every alternate days, Kaden at some point of time started to show rejection for the milk….he would struggle and cried making us wondering what he wanted as it was his milk time and he refused to drink. It was after a couple of tug-of-wars then I realized it was the bm problem. To tackle the problem, I tried adding half a spoonful of formula powder into the bm and on spotting the familiar taste again, Kaden would ‘gua gua’ swallow down the bottle of milk.

To conclude, mine was a very eventful bf journey. Although it wasn’t for long but at least I have tried my best. I certainly wouldn’t forget and if given another chance again, I would bf my baby again. And Kaden, as compared to his sister, is definitely luckier as he managed to gulp down many more bottles of bm.

To all my breastfeeding equipment, tata for now….till we meet again! (hmm....will we?) ;)

Kaden learning to flick

Kaden has shown signs that he can flick...although he isnt very enthusiastic about turning yet (most of the times assisted by us, giving him a hand from the back)...he seems to enjoy it. Perhaps he gets to munch his "drumstick" aka his hand easier...haha..

All pictures taken on 8th June'08, at maternal grandmother's place.

My Little Botak

Kaden had his haircut on 31st May'08. A significant milestone of his life cos its his first hehe!

Initially hubby did not want to cut Kaden’s hair as he didn’t have much hair when he was borned. However, we eventually decided to have his hair botak becos we noticed that his hair had started to have dead ends.

Here's our botak dearie sitting on the bumbo seat

This was taken on 7th June'08, in the living hall.

Kaden with jiejie, before going over to the hairdresser for his haircut.

A closer look at our botak Kaden.....

My Sturdy 3MO

Kaden with Jiejie, taken on our bed on 31st May'08,

just before he had his haircut.

Sleepy Kaden

Funny Kaden

Mood: Merry

Yet Another 2 Significant Milestones for Trenyce

1. Going Diaperless
Trenyce has not been wearing diapers during the day time for a long while already..wearing it only when she sleeps at night. Few weeks before she stopped wearing the diapers, we observed that her diapers were dry when she woke up. This happened consecutively for a couple of days and soon after the grandparents left for their aussie trip in april, she decided not to wear the diapers on her own accord. We tried to wake her up once every night to pee in case she wet the bed unconsciously. So far she only wetted the bed two times and that was when she just started diaperless. Other than that, she is doing wonderful without the diapers!

2. Switching from milk bottle to cup
Besides drinking water from her water bottle, Trenyce drinks milk from her milk bottle...the one that she has been using since infant times. In order to encourage her to switch to the cup, I got her a pink cup from Robinsons one day just before I went on my maternity leave. It has princess pictures all around, so we called it the princess cup. She likes the princess cup very much and hence is very willing to make the change. And so the transition from the bottle to the cup was considered quite smooth except that she tends to drink a little slow and often got distracted during her drink. Mood:Joyful Milestone: 3 years old

Trenyce Jie Jie

Everyone has been asking me how is Trenyce coping with the little brother. She's generally quite ok and is very proud of being called a jiejie. She welcomes the little brother and sayang him alot too...will stroke Kaden's head and cheeks;) When she returned from school, she would shout from the door, "Kaden, Jiejie is back from school loh!" and then she would run to the brother (if Kaden is awake) and started talking to him. She will stand in front of Kaden and says "Kaden, good boy oh. Must listen to JieJie ok". Sometimes, she will say,"Kaden, when you grow big must buy toys for JieJie ok." or "Kaden, don’t cry so loud ok...you want to cry, cry little bit ok, not so loud oh". Such innocent conversations! *grins*

It is also interesting to see how she plays with him as the way she does it largely comes from us....and she imitiates very well. She will shake or squeeze the toy in front of Kaden, or trying to make some sounds using her mouth (she cant really do it so it sounds quite differently but can see her efforts in trying to imitate us to cheer the kid brother)to catch his attention. Sometimes, she will sing for him...her favouite Barney tune.

This JieJie is very kind. She will offer her help to "take care" of the kid brother when I have to do housework while Kaden is awake. She will climb up the daybed and sits besides Kaden and talks to him, "don’t be scared oh, Jiejie is here huh." and sometimes when Kaden cries, she will say "oh oh oh, don’t cry don’t cry, JieJie is here to protect you huh." She will also "run errands" for mummy when mummy needs her help to pick up a hankie or nappy cloth for the kid brother. She does it immediately upon request. Very nice JieJie.

Of course, occasionally she will throw tantrums when she cant do whatever she pleases becos of the little brother and she will say stuff like "I don’t like you, Kaden". Other than that, she is an obedient girl. Sometimes I feel sorry for her as she has to restrict her movements or gestures becos of the the arrival of Kaden. Many times, she got scolded becos of the noise she created has woken Kaden. I know she does it unintentionally as she has been so used to creating all these noise. But there were also times she purposely did something to scare the brother and got scolded from us. Like 'punching' the bed when the brother was sleeping on the bed or purposely dropped something on the floor to create some loud noise when the brother was sleeping. I think this is her way of trying to get our attention. She knows that by misbehaving, mummy and/or daddy will scold her and hence focus on her. Surprisingly, this is how little children communicate with us.

I feel its really hard on the little girl, at such young age, having to adjust herself to life with a kid brother. We cant really blame her if she cant understand especially she is now at this stage where she can "half understand and half cannot understand".

Trenyce, mummy is truly sorry for scolding you all the times...I should be more patient with you. Mummy loves you always ok *muacks*

Dear Lord, pls grant me peace so that I can care for my children with much love and patience that they truly deserved. Amen. Mood: Happy Milestone: 3 years old

Mother's Day Celebration

Its mother's day tomorrow and I had my first mother's day celebration today for my mil with Kaden joining us. We went to East Coast Park for a lunch celebration at the old Big Splash where it had been converted to eateries and skateboarding area.

We had a lunch celebration as we were quite skeptical about bringing Kaden outdoor late at night especially places where its rowdy and non air-conditioned. We went to this Old Town Cafe for nasi lemak and chicken curry. It was a cafe with ipoh specialities, however, for some reasons most of their ingredients were spoilt and so all noodle selections were unavailable and we could only tasted the 2 dishes we had ordered. To be frank, I was quite disappointed as I wanted to try the noodle dishes, especially the ipoh hor fun. I heard from my mother, the food was authentic to those in ipoh and I was keen to try out. Sigh, just my luck.

After the makan, we had a stroll at the park...for just a short while as Kaden had started to fuss again...

Getting back to work

Finally, my 13weeks 4 days break is over. Why so weird? Cos I extended my leave by another 4 days to help my inlaws to cope with the little boy, or more specifically, life with 2 grandchildren. Also, Kaden has quite a temper so I thought it would be good for me to be around to "guide" my mil on his habits.

I started work officially on Friday, which was yesterday. My 1st day back in office was spent clearing my emails and gettng myself updated on work I had passed over to my colleagues. I didnt even have a chance to speak to my boss. I couldnt catch him as he was away for meeting the entire afternoon. Well, guess I could only speak to him on Monday morning then.

I wasnt that worried about things at home on my first day at work cos hubby was on leave at home to help around. But I am a bit worried at how things would be come next week as that would be the official week pils would be left to care for the 2 kiddies. With one week of "farmilarisation", I hope they are getting the hang of caring for them. Cross my fingers....

As it is, I missed the little one at home and had a video call with hubby to see Kaden. From the phone, I could see him lying contently on his bouncer heehee. If only I could have video calls everyday to see him from work....Well, yes I left work very punctually yesterday, arghh...just couldnt wait to be home to see my kiddies! :p

Caring for Kaden

Kaden is an unique child. He is very different from his sis in many ways. Well, physically yes but its not just that. He has very "good" lungs. His cries are very loud and his grandpa is quite scared of him for that..haha..

The biggest problem we had with him was his sleep and his crying. He had 'broken sleep" at night and would wake up several times crying. I am not sure if he had been traumatised by the "nanny issues" but it could have some impact on him. Eversince the 1st nanny left, he had been having "sleepless" nights......even with the 3rd nanny, she couldnt handle him and had to hold/rock him to sleep every night. As a result, we ran into some problem caring for him after the nanny left.....he wanted us to carry him all the time whether he's awake or asleep. And how am I able to carry him all the time, I wouldnt have the strength to do that as my pils will be leaving for Australia in a week's time....plus I got to take care of my elder child too.

In the end, we resorted to getting a baby cradle set (or "sarong swing"). Though there is an electronic one, we got a manual one instead as I intend to get him out of this cradle thing once he's better. So he was sleeping in the swing during the daytime and on bed during the night. Beginning, he was able to take it well...sleeping nicely in the swing in the day and sleeping on the bed at night....but a week after that, he seemed to develop some kind of habit and refused to sleep on the bed at night. But once you put him in the "bouncing swing", he felt asleep.....and you could only put him on the bed after he slept very soundly...which is like after 2 or 3 hrs later then you can take him out without him fussing about. Hubby wanted to put him in the cradle every night but I refused and insisted on "training" him to sleep on the bed, wanted him to ditch the habit of sleeping in the swing. We had a few quarels over that. It was that bad cos hubby couldnt have proper sleep at night due to Kaden's wailing and he had to work in the day. On certain nights, both of us didnt sleep after 2,3 am...just to pacify the boy and put him to sleep. This continued for about 2,3 weeks...until the week before my inlaws was dued to return to care for their 2 grandchildren then Kaden started to get better...His wailing was still there but the duration was shorter from 3,4 hrs to 2,3 hrs..sometimes 1,2 hrs.

Trenyce had also been affected by her little brother's wailing at night. Though she's sleeping but I doubt she had quality sleep. This could be judged by the amount of sleep she's getting from her afternoon nap. Sometimes, she could sleep for 3hrs for her nap! Poor girl!

2 weeks before I am dued to return to workplace, I started to reduce the number of "swinging" times for Kaden. From 3 times to 2 times to 1 time and gradually none. When pils came back, I had already trained him napping without the sarong swing. Quite an achievement huh! But it didnt come easy. It took alot of patience.....I had to carry and pacify him many times to achieve that.

Kaden sleeping comfortably in his sarong swing.

Mood: Exhausting